Sabtu, 19 November 2011

Chapter 60 : Northern Star

8 November 2011


Room 2301.

“Dean, five hundreds, enough?”

“Yep. In dollars. Thanks Bob.” Dia berdiri, keluar dari ranjang.

“Do you see my shirt?”

Bob meringis, “Here.” Lemparnya dengan nada malas. “You’re going somewhere else?”

“Just coffee-shop across the street. I’ll be back before midnight. Promise.”

“Better so. I wont let my boy-toy whoring around.”

“Don’t worry. Catch you up later.” Daun pintu itu ditutupnya.


Coffee Shop 24/7.

Have I die? Why do I want a muffin at 10pm? I don’t even have any appetite. What am I going to do here anyway? Ermm… Maybe that éclair could kill my bitter thought. Oh no, I don’t even wa… “Dean, ini mocha-latte kamu. Anything else?” barista didepannya membunuh monolog barusan.

“Yep. Satu muffin, satu éclair. Dan buat saya hot Americano. Quick please.” Senyum pria yang menyela pembicaraan mereka.

Dean memandangi adegan barusan dengan mimik mengerut. “Don’t worry, those pastries are for you. My treat.” Tambah pria barusan.

“Mocha-latte? Latte is a French word for : you just spent too much money on a coffee.”

Dean berhenti menenggaknya. “Americano? It means that you had a bad day.” Balasnya.

“Exactly. That’s why I bought you those pastries… nemenin saya ngobrol panjang semalaman di pojok meja itu. Do u mind?” senyumnya.

Dean terpaku pada tonjolan dada yang tersingkap dibalik kancing kemeja pada pria itu. Semenjak kecil, dia pernah berangan menemukan pria bertattoo bintang di dadanya, kemudian jatuh cinta dan menghabiskan sisa hidup bersamanya.

Dean has been expelled from his lovely strict-family years a go because he’s Gay, never been in love or being loved. But tonight, he falls in love, at first sight. It’s like a surprise ice, dropping on his neck from the wet tree. A men with star tattoo on his left chest, coming right to his life.

Dean doesn’t know what love is. All he knows, love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a sofa when there is plenty of room at both ends for hours.

“My... Grandma calls. I have to go home now. Errmm.. shall we meet again?” tukas Dean.

“Surely. I live on that building across the street. Room 1012. You can come anytime.”

Dean menggigit bibirnya, “Besok malam boleh?” pria itu mengangguk.

Malam itu Dean mengambil jalan memutar blok, menghindari kemungkinan satu lift dengan pria yang enggan menyebutkan namanya yang barusan membuatnya berbinar.



Room 2301.

Dean mengecup lembut pipi Bob. “Tell your blonde-wife I say hi. Have a safe flight, Bob.”

Bob terkekeh. “I’ll be at Melbourne for couple weeks. Hometown trip will be dull during winter. I prefer stay here and toying you for whole day.”

“Don’t be so demanding, I’m not even your boyfriend or lover.”

Bob menarik tangannya. “But I know deep down inside, you truly love me, don’t you Dean?”

Dean menatap mata biru itu. “You can read my mind then. Go now. Your cab is waiting.”

Bob tertawa, membuat perut buncitnya ikut bergetar. “Take good care of my penthouse while I’m gone, sweetie. I left cash on drawer.”

“And don’t be naughty.” Pesannya terakhir.



Room 1012.

Dean berdiri, mengamati ratusan foto yang tertempel di dinding ruang utama kamar itu. “Lebih mirip wall of fame yah…”

“Haha… I’m a full time backpacker. Dedicated my self to traveling around the world. Pernah kemana saja kamu, Dean?” tanyanya balik.

“Haha, I’m just 22 years old boy. Not going to college and have to do part time job. So, lavish trip isn’t my priority.”

“Backpacker means.. u don’t have to spend so much money for trip. Just like ordering Americano instead of Latte.” Dean lagi-lagi tertawa dibuatnya.

“I’ll tell you a secret… just pretend to some people that you’re National Geographic reporter or crew can take you to many forbidden places. Like this one…” Tunjuknya pada foto dirinya disebuah kuil sepi.

“My next trip would be Saigon. Mau ikutkah?”

Dean menunduk. “I don’t have the guts. Maybe someday…”

“Hei, I see a tattoo yesterday, is that… a star?” tanya Dean ragu.

Pria tinggi berkulit terbakar dan bertubuh tegap itu membuka kancing kemejanya perlahan. “Yep. A North-Star tattoo. I made it on Tibet. Do u like it?” dia membolehkan telapak tangan Dean menyentuhnya.

Jantung Dean berdegup kencang. At one second, he thinks that universe is playing some kind of cosmic joke to him. “The best I’ve ever seen so far. Apa artinya memang?”

“A five-pointed Nautical Star of mariner’s chart is found on the compass, straight up at the north position. Dan ini adalah simbol untuk menemukan jalan pulang dan keberuntungan.”

Pria itu mengambil nafasnya lagi. “Disebut juga Polaris. Kamu tahu kan Northern Star sebagai acuan bagi para petualang dunia, supaya mereka tidak tersesat. And it’s metaphor of a Hope.”

Bibir Dean kaku. Skenario dunia macam apa yang meletakkan dia dalam posisinya saat ini. “I would have that tattoo someday…”

“Nope you wont. Kamu lebih pantas dapat julukan ‘shooting star’.”

“Kenapa begitu?”

“I’ve been around the world… Meet millions of people. Looking for the brightest star. Now he’s standing in front of me. The cutest guy I’ve ever seen in my life. Just like a shooting star that strikes my sight.”

“Can I kiss you, Dean?” ijinnya sambil mulai mendekap perlahan.

“I’m all yours…Northern Star.” Getarnya.

--

“Good morning… I should go back home now.” Kecupnya lembut. Agak lama namun hangat.

“Morning Dean. Enggak mandi dulu disini?”

Dean menggeleng. “I have some task to do.”

“By the way, the name is Jake. Jake Tham.”

Dean berhenti menggelungkan shawl pada lehernya. “You don’t seem anything like Jake. I’ll name you Michael.” Keduanya terkekeh, sebelum kemudian berpencar pergi.



Loby 10th floor.

What’s your biggest decision? I mean, crazy decision. Maybe tonight I’ll tell him that I love him. If he loves me back, I’ll leave Bob, burry my past and start over my life with him.

Or maybe I’ll be with him, traveling around the world. Going to Cambodia, India, and Johannesburg. Morning on Toronto and night on Seattle. Just maybe.

I’m going to open this door and widely smile then saying, “Hi Jake. I’m coming with you to Saigon next month.”

The door’s open. “You seem busy there, Jake…”

Jake terkesiap, namun tak terlihat panik. “You can join us if u like, Dean. Come’ on. Threesome is great…” Ajaknya. Pria yang sibuk bercumbu dengannya menyimpulkan senyum lembut. Mengangguk setuju.

Dean tertawa lepas. “Haha… I’ll pass. You know what… Have fun, you two.”

Malam itu, jiwa Dean serasa runtuh. Ribuan bintang jatuh serasa menubruk hatinya. Bintang utara sebagai pedoman harapannya, telah mengkhianatinya.

Dia hanya bisa terduduk menangis sunyi di lobi seberang.

Room 2301.

“I… Just want to take this money… and get out of town.” Lagu itu kemudian dimatikannya. Sudah siang, saatnya order makanan, sesudah itu sorenya ikut kelas yoga. Begitupun besoknya. Dan besoknya lagi. Demi Tuhan, kenapa dia begitu teratur setahun belakangan? Gara-gara terpengaruh tabiat Bob mungkin? Atau tante socialite kamar 2302 yang gemar belanja dari pagi sampai sore dengannya. Dean tidak tahu.

He’s lying in his bed and thinking: Is this Dean? Am I really alive? Am I really here? Or is this all just a massive dream of life?

Dean spontan mengecek laci kamarnya, dibawah tumpukan kaus kakinya, dimana uangnya selama ini tertumpuk. “Lima ribu enam ratus tiga puluh dollar.”

Okay, langkah selanjutnya, menelepon teman baiknya. “Hi Cyrus, could you accompany me to travel exhibition this afternoon?”

Coffee Shop S.

“Hadehh Dean, berani amat elu langsung beli one way ticket ke Thailand. Ga mau balik lu?”

“I don’t have any home or address, anyway. Hehe. I’ll be fine.”

Cyrus tertunduk lesu. “Gara-gara Jake kan ini?”

Dean menyesap Americano pertamanya. Hambar, namun melekat. “Engga juga Baby-Cy. Gua emang butuh langkah besar. Udah lama gua ngumpet di comfort-zone. Umur gua juga menipis, enggak nambah. With this first step, I’ll let life surprise me. I’ll be fine.”

Cyrus menepuk bahunya. “Someday, you’ll fine someone better than Bob or Jake. Sometimes, the person you want the most is the person you’re best without.”

Dean tersenyum. “Yea, gua akan menemukan pria bertattoo bintang, lagi dan lagi. I would never give up.”

“So why Thailand?”

“As I read on guide book, gua bakal coba tidur di kuil-kuil sambil semedi. Ikut menyapu pelataran kuil biar dapet nasi. Ketemu banyak orang. Wouldn’t that be exciting?” Dean tersenyum. Cyrus sering terpukau dengan wajah Dean jika tersenyum. Seperti Venus diufuk sana.

“Dan Cyrus, setelah ke Thailand, gua bakal terus ke utara. Mungkin Cambodia, mungkin India. Atau suatu hari di Alaska. You will never know, neither do I.”

“What a way to find home… Sigh. Just let me know where you are. Don’t leave me clueless, will you? You know my emails.”

Dean mengangguk. “You wont be lonely aren’t you?”

Cyrus tersenyum sejuk. “My Mom once said, when you’re feeling lonely, look up at the moon. Somewhere, someone is staring at the same moon, feeling lonely too.”

Dean memeluknya. “Okay. Five hours remain. Before my flight.”

“First flight to home?”

“I’ll be home…” senyum Dean untuk terakhir kalinya sebelum pamit.

By.C