3 August 2011
The sweetest drug.
“What if your ex-boyfriend is now back to the market?” tanya Cyrus.
“I bet he’s more expensive now.” Wait. Did Cyrus just asked bout my ex?
“Exactly! NO! it’s my ex. My very first ex.”
“Ahh.. Kobe…” Ingatan saya langsung merujuk pada sosok tinggi besar muka ala jepang yang membuang Cyrus demi seonggok daging dungu bernama ‘another dumbo’.
“It’s been three years already! Bukannya udah finish?” tanya saya.
“Not my revenge…”
Dia sibuk dengan browsernya, “He got a new soon-to-be-mistress!”
Saya menyesap mocha saya sambil senderan males. “Can you blame him?”
“Aww.. He’s hot. Hotter than you, baby Cy.” Komen saya.
“Right. The whole point of facebook is so you can see if you’re hotter than your ex’s new lover.” Sahut Keith yang tiba-tiba nyelonong.
“Keith! You should be on my side!”
“Can you blame me?” Lari! Siap-siap disiram hot tea.
--
Right before I sleep, I can’t stop wonder : Has Cyrus got over his ex? Has Cyrus buried all the memory with his first ex? Has he moved on?
Two things I hate the most : 1.) The new lover of an ex. 2.) The ex of a new lover.
Buat saya, mantan pertama berasa ecstasy (pada enam bulan pertama sebelum akhirnya move on betulan). He was my first kiss, my first cuddle, my first on everything. How could I get rid of that feeling within weeks/months?
It’s like the first time you on drugs : ADDICTIVE. Walau akhirnya merusak. I thought I was having a disease, and he was my cure. I thought he saved me, turned out he killed me instead.
I don’t regret my past. I just regret the time I wasted with the wrong person. I invested my heart to the wrong person. I sold myself in the wrong market. Can’t blame anybody. Can I ?
Paling enggak Keith enggak kaya saya. Dia belajar banyak dari setiap break-up-experience. His last ex, Mr.Busy-Billy contohnya. Selesai ya selesai. Walau selesainya enggak enak.
“Hon, like my Mom said : an Ex is called an Ex cuz it is an Example of what you shouldn’t have again in the future. Dalam hal ini, gw benci orang sibuk.” Hmm. He got a point.
“Ga mau ngalah dikit gitu ya?” tanya saya di telepon.
“No way! I am me. I’m not willing to change for anybody or anyone. Take me as I am or watch me as I go.” Damn. I wish I was that strong.
Now who needs a rehab?
Cyrus datang dengan muka sumringah. “I think the hell just froze over…” Keith sampai heran.
“Elu-elu pada tau ga gua ngapain kemaren?” Kami angkat bahu.
“Gua samperin tuh si calon nyonya Kobe di gym. Gua ajak kenalan. Gua salaman sambil bilang : oh by the way, you are dating my ex. Well done, I ate half a doughnut earlier, you want the leftover too?”
--
“Oh is Kobe your ex?”
“No Donovan, that creature is the biggest mistake of my life.”
“Don’t worry, saya cuma ngedate kok sama dia semingguan ini. Kita belum resmi.”
“Well, then keep waiting, Donny. Itu jeleknya dia, suka ngegantungin orang. Old habit dies hard.”
Donovan memegang pundaknya. “Sebenernya bukan karena itu sih kita enggak jadian…”
Cyrus menaruh dumbbell nya. “Tell me all...”
“Don’t laugh but… We’re both Top.”
Bahahhahaa! Epic! “Phftt… Oh! Okay!” mati-matian Cyrus menahan tawanya.
“Kamu taulah… Pas di ranjang ga ada yang mau ngalah. Sampe akirnya kita gontok-gontokan. Bugil berujung masuk angin doang. Dan entah kenapa dia masih ngejar juga.”
“Well that’s him… A champion kinda men. Dan elu salah satu medali yang belum dia dapetin.”
Cyrus meliriknya lagi. “You know what… Kita bisa buat dia ilfil seketika sama kamu…”
Donovan sepertinya mengerti arti mata itu. “I’m interested… Go on…”
“Why don’t we make love? Atau paling enggak ngobatin masuk angin kamu kemarin. I’m pure bottom and I think you’re uber hot.”
Donovan tersenyum panjang. “Only if u agree to send him our dirty pic on bed. Then I am yours tonight and the another nights, you little hot stuff.”
“Ahhh… You read my mind. How I love my life.” Mereka bersalaman lagi.
“And by the way, Cyrus… Mine is better than your ex’s, and fresher than your next’s.”
“Uwhh… I can see that…” Cyrus melirik bawahan Donovan.
--
“Terus gua email foto itu ke dia dengan tagline : You’re exactly where you belong… IN MY PAST!”
“Nasty slut! Bahahaha!” Keith dan saya ngakak keras.
“That explains why u look happy tonight.”
“Right! Now who needs a rehab If you could trade drugs over a new candy?!”
“Kobe pasti bakal benci banget sama elu setelah ini.”
“Can you blame me, Chris?” wink.
By.CL
